Grace after the Choice :: My Abortion Story {Part 2 of 3}

If you have landed on this post, so that you might understand what's happening 
in this part of my story, I suggest that you start at 
Part 1, HERE 
(there'll be a link to click at the bottom to bring you back to this page). 
Thank you!

Part 2
[Warning: parts of this story are graphic.]

She then told me that a laminaria would have to be inserted in the opening of my cervix. “What is that? What does it do?” I asked. She explained that it was a piece of seaweed that would expand to dilate my cervix. I asked to see it, and she showed me what looked like hardened tobacco rolled into a cigarette. My feet were put in the stirrups; a cold instrument assisted the nurse in inserting the laminaria. “That wasn’t so bad.” I had thought it would hurt more.

She told me that I would need to wait for an hour. I was to drink as much liquid as I could in that time. I got re-dressed and slipped off for an hour to visit the local Burger King, where I sipped as many sodas as I could. I returned to the hospital waiting room, where my name was called again. I was inspected to make sure that the laminaria was still in place and doing its job. It was.

I was once again escorted to a room and instructed to put all my belongings in the bag I had brought, and to put on another hospital gown. I was helped into a rolling bed and rolled through several corridors and through several sets of double doors. Finally they rolled me into a room along the back wall and set my bed (Bed B) up in the corner. My belonging were put into an armoire at the foot of my bed.

The same nurse as before soon rolled in another girl, who was accompanied by her mother. The girl was only fifteen and had gotten pregnant by a much older ex-boyfriend; the mother wasn’t happy about it, and I could tell that the girl was terrified of her mother and of what was about to happen.

A different nurse came in the room, drew the curtain between us closed and took my blood pressure and inserted an IV into the top of my left hand. She also asked me if I wanted some juice or crushed ice. I accepted the ice. And I waited some more. I recall not knowing exactly what time it was because there was no window in the room. Neither was there a television.

A hospital intern pulled up a chair next to my bed, introduced himself and started asking me all kinds of personal questions, and as I answered, he jotted on the forms on his clipboard. The questions, which inquired mainly about my sex life were quite humiliating to answer, especially to a male stranger. He then went to the other side of the curtain and as he proceeded to ask the girl in Bed A the same set of questions, Bed A’s mother angrily replied, “That’s none of your business” and told him to get out, which he did. I’d have told him the same thing, had I known his inquiries weren’t mandatory. I found out later that they were a gathering of facts with which the hospital could use to advertise their abortion services better. 

Then, the two nurses I’d gotten familiar with seeing came in the room together, accompanied by the doctor.
A stainless steel rolling cart with a few utensils, what looked like a large folded blue paper towel, a bottle of betadine, some cotton pads, and a clear plastic bag (of what looked like water) with plastic tubing coming out of it were on top of the cart.

The doctor was gentle, but unfriendly as he asked me to pull up my gown, which I did. A nurse washed and dried my lower abdomen twice with the betadine and pads, which left it stained brown. Then the blue paper was draped across my stomach. It had a cut-out hole about 3” across in it. While this was being done, the doctor was connecting the plastic tubing from the bag of water to a large needle. I got scared. I hate needles, but I asked the nurse nearest to me if I could hold her hand, and she let me, as I looked the other way. Thankfully, the doctor wiped an anesthetic over the skin exposed by the hole in the paper, and I didn’t feel the needle entering me. Nor did I watch what the doctor was doing, however, when the bag was emptied, he simply left, taking a nurse and the cart with him.

The nurse that had held my hand told me that I would probably feel contracting, and that that was simply the uterus expelling the fetus, that it may take up to four hours, and that when I felt the urge to push, to call her by pushing the nurse’s station button on the side of my bed.

I then heard the same procedure being done to the girl in Bed A, I heard her wimpering. When her mother heard that it was going to take her daughter up to four hours to be finished, she decided to go out and get some dinner.

Her mother was only gone about a half hour when the girl started groaning and crying and I asked her if she was okay and if she wanted the nurse. She didn’t. A few minutes later, she called me over to her bed, so I climbed out of the left side of my bed because my rolling IV bag pole needed to come with me.

She told me that she had pushed something out and asked me to look to see what it was. I was kind of shocked by her request, but said, okay. Apparently, she had been as curious as I as to what was happening. So, I went over by her bent up knees and looked down below them at what was lying near her bottom. I saw in a puddle of blood and water, what looked like a red, wet tumor about the size of an eggplant (I know now that the baby was facing her body and that I was looking at its back) and decided that it was just that: a mass of tissue, like a tumor. I described it to her, and we were both relieved that that was all it was. 

By now, I had started having cramps and I got back into my bed to wait.

Go to Part 3 HERE.


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  1. It made me very sad to realize you were there all alone. My heart is heavy...

  2. Hi Sheila,
    I wasn't alone. God was there. You'll see tomorrow when I tell you the rest of my story!
    Thank you, Sugar.

    1. Oh, I know he was there. He is always there, even in our darkest hours!

    2. That comforts me more than anything else on this earth.

  3. Thank You!
    Thank You for sharing your story. I think it's important for everyone to read, understand and know.
    Please don't stop telling your story! You don't know who you will help.

    1. Hi Christine!
      Thank you so much for your encouragement!
      I'll keep telling it!
      Bless you!

  4. Oh Leslie,
    I'm so proud of you for sharing such a personal story. May God bless your words to help others.

    1. Katie,
      May God's grace find those who have stories like mine!
      Thank you!

  5. Leslie-
    I read yesterday's post (part 1)...I didn't comment; and today, I almost didn't click over to read---but, I'm glad I did. Your testimony is important. Your Faith strong. Your obedience Glorifying to God.
    I agree with what one commenter said yesterday we are overcomers by the word of our testimony and the blood of the Lamb.
    Praise and Glory and Honor be to God.

    Thank you for telling this story. Pat

  6. Grieving for you, for that girl, for your babies. Your courage to tell this part of your life story is humbling and inspiring.

  7. I think God orchestrated that moment between you and the other girl to give you {and her} the sense that someone truly understands what you both were going through. He made it so that you had someone "with" you physically and emotionally in the scariest moment of that day.

    Thank you for your transparency.

    ~ Ferly
    Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}

  8. Praying for you as you continue on! Your heart is so tender to others needs, oh goodness Leslie, being there for that young girl, while you yourself are going through this. The stories do need to be told, to help those who might consider, who have probably not been told the truth...praying for those who do read your story, that God helps them in their own life and helps them to make the right choice!

  9. Hi Leslie,
    I think that your testimony is of great value and that you get the courage to share this experience, from He who lifts us all when we kneel and claim His name.

    As a sinner I know there is no sin bigger than other, sin is sin, yet I remember Luke 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.

    Thank you for your story,

  10. I know that you have thought about sharing this for a long time. I believe that was God nudging you and I think you will be blessed as will many others because of your obedience in sharing. You are using words straight from your heart and so they pull at our hearts as well. Keep up the good work. We are a hungry world for truth from one another.


  11. You are so brave to share this story Leslie. I went through this in 1978. Not as graphic as yours as I was only several weeks along. I have shared my story to many youn women who have struggled with having an abortion or with deciding to have an abortion. I now serve on the board of a Life center. The goal of the center is to give young women as much information and help they may need to choose life instead of abortion. swe are currently praying about opening a Maternity Home. I have ministered to many young women who have expereinced abortion and felt it was their only choice. Thanks for sharing your story. If not for Jesus where would we be? His unconditional sacraficial love overwhelms me. That He died for me even though He knew the choices I would make and for you too. May your honesty tough the heart of many. Blessings and again to God be the glory for what you have shared.

  12. By the way, because of your honest and heart... I am your newest follower. Come on by and visit with me...Blessings!

  13. God takes away our pain and despair of yesterday and replaces it with the glorious promise of new hope!!!

  14. You are very brave to speak about this!

    After reading it from the beginning, it seems that you were dealing with some issues before the abortion and then really never dealt with them. This was combined with the post-partum depression that you experienced. And you had a late pregnancy abortion, which was done by injecting saline solution into your uterus (hence the contractions and expelling.)

    Abortion has been around since the Greeks. I think that you are right though: We need to educate people about what it is, what are some of the possible consequences and the cultural stigma that it carries, while stressing that no living thing can judge and only God will pass judgement on our actions. We need to also educate people that every action has a re-action and that you need to be responsible for your actions.

    Thank you again for sharing.


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