Makeovers are Messy :: I Need a Designer


I hesitated to share this on my blog but, below my blog title, it reads: 
{makeovers of the heart and hearth}
and sometimes makeovers don't end in pretty, colorful, slip-covered dream spaces
with light-filled rooms and gleaming hardwood flooring.
Sometimes makeovers aren't perfectly organized closets
with each bauble placed just so, labeled and placed in orderly rows
for all to "ooh" and "ahh" over and to be Pinterested.

Sometimes makeovers require looking under the furniture
and dragging out the hidden rubbish which has rotted a hole in the floor 
because it's settled there too long.
Amidst the dust bunnies, old toys, a dirty sock, and a lone chocolate chip
reside secrets that life's foot has scooted under the chair in haste
before last year's Christmas party,
clutter that has been discretely tucked behind the couch,
that can no longer be camouflaged and that begs to be exposed.


Sometimes makeovers require digging everything out of those dark, dank closets
and spreading the debris and filth out over the floor
and sorting through each souvenir and forgotten trinket one by one.

My makeover doesn't involve paint and fabric swatches,
or pillows and throws.
This redesign involves my heart and useless knickknacks
that I have allowed to settle into each nook and cranny.


Recently I've had to make some decisions regarding my future
with my spouse, home, career, life.

It's a decision that was a choice according to the Word of God
(and one recommend by many wise counselor friends).
However, I have been judged, criticized, questioned, and abandoned 
by some of (or at least whom I thought to be) my closest friends.
I'm not too hard on those people.
I've forgiven them, actually,
but it's been painful.
Life's hit me in the face.
It's grabbed me by the wrist and twisted my arm behind my back
and forced me to look at myself and my mess,
the mess that others have left for me to clean up,
the mess that I need to let the others clean up for themselves.

It's held me firmly by the chin and held my face still, until I opened my eyes
long enough to look squarely into this mess that can no longer be overlooked.

I have long compared my heart to a home,
a sentiment that's proven to be true.

Ephesians 2:22 reads:
"And because you belong to Him, you too are being built together.
You are being made into a house where God lives through His Spirit."

My heart home is not mine.
It is His. 


My "before" picture is hideous.
I require a new layout, floor plan, and arrangement.


I am a designer, organizer, and homemaker, but I need the Master Designer.
I will willingly submit my mess to the sovereign Re-arranger,
the supreme Organizer, the superior Homemaker.

I believe that, what I have let fall into disrepair, He will rebuild.
I believe that He will restore harmony and order to this chaotic place.

I am positive that, with His help,
the walls will get patched, the rugs beaten clean, and the furniture moved.
Since my eyesight is poor, I'll need to hold up 
each cruddy trinket I find for Christ to scrutinize.
I'll wait for His look of disgust or nod of approval
to know if it is a trinket worthy of keeping or of tossing.


The KEEP pile will hold all truths reflecting His likeness:
love, redemption, grace, peace, and holiness.
The TOSS pile will be heaped with all delusions reflecting His opposite:
judgment, hatred, guilt, fear, worry, and sinfulness.

I'll hold open the trash bags as he fills it with the garbage that I've saved.
I'll call his 1-800-GOT-JUNK hotline, and the useless decor I have hoarded
will be removed and be tossed into the back of His dump truck 
and disappear down the street and around the corner, 
never to be seen again.


Most days, I don't understand the builder's instructions.
He is the only one who can make any sense of this blueprint;
after all, he is the one who drafted it.
I am confused by his methods
but I trust that He will see me through to completion.
He will make my heart home beautiful
in His time.



I probably won't be posting for a while.
I am on hiatus for healing.


Jaime




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God has made everything beautiful for its own time.
He has planted eternity in the human heart,
yet they cannot fathom the work that God has done
from the beginning to the end.
Ecclesiastes 3:11

Imparting Grace at Richella's:

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34 comments:

  1. I have read your blog for awhile, and this is the first time commenting. I love how you wrote about your time to heal. I really hope life finds you well again. Your blog has been a great help to me. I look forward to seeing your posts in my feed one day. Best wishes.

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    1. I am so glad to hear that I have been a blessing to you. Amazing. Because somehow, I have always seen it the other way around. My reader friends (even the ones I may never get a comment from) are the reason I write and share. I try and see through to the other side of this PC screen and I wonder what everyone else's world is really like. And if everyone else's world is really a mess, like mine.
      I know I will get well, it's the WHEN that's frustrating...
      Hugs and blessings to you as you make your home!

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    1. Oh Debby!
      Thank you so much! I felt your hug and I rejoice with tears for your kindness!
      Love, me

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  3. I haven't commented in a long while... but I stop over at your blog quite often.... I soooo love Craftsman style homes and bungalows ... so of course.... I was excited for you and your search.... You introduced me (and my sister) to "Life Beautiful" magazine... which has been such a blessing... and your words of encouragement always make me smile!! You seem to be so "Real".... I want to tell you that as I read your remarks today... My heart goes out to you ( Whatever the need is).. I am praying for you today.... We have never "Met".. but a sister in the Lord ... is a sister in the Lord.... Blessings Leslie

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    1. Hi Terri!
      I've missed you!
      I pray you are well!
      You ARE my sister in the Lord, and I am so amazingly blessed to know you!
      Thank you for your encouragement and love.
      I am SO grateful!
      Love, me

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    2. Just now seeing that you are going to continue to blog... How good is God!! I thought about you yesterday morning and prayed for you .. and decided to just take a look see... and YES... THERE YOU ARE.... still blogging!! I am soooo excited .... God is good... and He will "do all things good" for you!!!!! Terri

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  4. You have shared such important words today, Leslie, and dare I say beautiful (if somewhat painful for you too.) It sounds like you know The Plan to follow and I wish you strength and God's love during your 'remodel'.
    ~Elizabeth

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    1. Elizabeth,
      The Lord has got me in a painfully peaceful place.
      And I am okay.
      He is good and I am blessed!
      Thank you so much for your words! They lifted me up!
      HUGS!

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  5. I'm not sure I have ever commented before today; however, I subscribe and love getting your posts in my email box. Lifting you in prayer, and truly know that by seeking Him, your life will be put to rights before you know it. Jumping out on a limb here, but wanted you to also know that if you need a none-judgmental shoulder to lean on, I believe we are in the same town. Happy to lend mine, bloggy friend.

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  6. Friend,
    This post makes my heart sad for those that have been mis-judging you and your decisions. You need to do what's best and what you know to be wise according to His word. I am always here for you, if you ever need to talk, yell, cry or just maybe even say a bad word or two. ;) Seriously, will be praying for you during this time of healing. Hugs and much love to you!!!!!
    Proverbs 4:20 My child, pay attention to what I say.
    Listen carefully to my words.
    21 Don’t lose sight of them.
    Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
    22 for they bring life to those who find them,
    and HEALING to their whole body.
    23 Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life.

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  7. {{{{{HUGS!}}}}}

    I'm so sorry for all the pain you are going through. But I can testify that Christ's sacrifice covers it all-- He has already taken your burden. I pray that you will feel His love and comfort during this terrible time.

    Love,
    Mama Rachel

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  8. Don't know what is being cleaned out or cleaned up or redone or just what the Lord is walking with you through, but as your sister in Christ ( although we have never met ) I will be praying for your peace. And that you will be very aware of HIS presence.

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  9. You know you're doing the right thing, following HIS instructions. As your sister, I applaud your courage for writing this here and I pray you will plant many seeds by so doing, you've got my prayerful support and my attention to my own heart and need to pray more. Love, your sister, Janet

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  10. Sorry to hear that life is painful and that you're hurting. Please know that I'm praying for you my sweet friend! If there is anything I can do or anything specific I can pray, please let me know!

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  11. I found your blog somehow (don't remember now) and caught up from the beginning. Now I get notified via email and read it whenever a notice pops up.
    I don't know the story, but I do know the One in charge of your story. I too have been going through some things (as well as two other ladies...different circumstances) that I do NOT understand....or why.
    Although this post was probably, mainly for you, I want to thank you for it. The last paragraph was the biggie for me. I still have tears. I pray that whatever it is gets sorted. I have learned that when we go through hard times, we really do find out who cares, who doesn't, and who's really there for us.
    A little over a year ago I had an accident in the home. I tried to keep friends/family updated via Facebook (as well as the immediate family over phone...I'm FAR away from them at the moment). Friends I thought would respond didn't; friends I thought never read my posts commented...some of them each post. Some I knew never read them because of some comments of "Are you going to be doing {insert event}?"...Ummmm no...remember? I sometimes think that things "out of the ordinary" happen (in part) to show us who our leaves are, who our branches are, and who our roots are (Tyler Perry analogy). Leaves are those that are only there until the "wind" blows. Branches are two-fold: some are there regardless, some only until the REALLY tough times come & then break off, and some are there to try to damage you although you think they're there for good reasons. Roots (the rarity of the lot) are there regardless....they are there to hold you up, ground you, are happy for successes, and keep you strong regardless of the weather. Leaves should be shed; roots are blessings and are rare.
    Sorry it's so long....I just started typing and my fingers kept at it. Hang onto your roots and the Planter & you will weather any storm :-)

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  12. God is with you. Lean on Him. Praying for you.

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  13. Dearest one, a time to share, and now a time to heal. Praying with you, as you walk through this and even at times, carried through this. Your sisters in Christ are holding you up in prayer, our Sovereign God knows the need, and the remedy. He is faithful. Praying for those who have made hasty judgments, that in time, they will see love must be tough, and they will one day understand your decisions. Hugs, love and prayers for you and your heart!

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  14. Dearest Leslie,

    I do not know what is going on in your "house". But what I do know, is that you are an incredibly strong, intelligent, talented and humorous woman. You will get through this difficult time. You will be missed and our loved by many. Don't ever forget how much you are loved.

    God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

    Much love,
    Char

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  15. I will be praying for you and the peace that youre seeking.

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  16. I don't comment often but did want to pop over as I love your blog though I don't comment much, as I said! I love your analogy and saddened that you're going through a difficult time.

    Remember how Job's friends thought they were comforting him but were actually criticizing him instead?

    Sometimes we make big mistakes with our mouths. We hurt when we should comfort. We react instead of act, based on how WE feel and miss how the other person feels, we react with our emotions instead of acting with our actions and letting them know they are loved.

    We make it all about us when it should be about them. We criticize when we should encourage, tear down when we should build up. We preach when we should listen. Your friends have hurt you, when they should be helping you.

    We are human and we fail, and you know that. But what a wonderful Savior we have who forgives us and picks us up, again and again!

    I am hoping that your friends will rethink their hurtful words and actions and ask you to forgive them, but if they don't, then are they really your friends? But still, I know that their actions hurt. Betrayal hurts in any form.

    You sound like you are really leaning into God right now to get through this, and you will, my friend.

    Just remember Job 23:10: "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." You are going to come forth as gold, girl. Gold has to be refined by fire to burn all the impurities out. Hang on to His promises and go for the gold!

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  17. Wanted to let you know I am praying for you while you spend time with the Great Physician.

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  18. I have always thought that "The truth shall set you free" should have been followed by "but first, it's going to hurt." You may not feel like it right now, but you are brave, and you will triumph over the obstacles that are in front of you right now. Stand strong in your truth. It will get better. You are not alone. And you are very loved.

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  19. Thank you for sharing this with us. I will be praying for you to find the peace you are seeking. I wish you strength, love, patience, and kindness on your journey.

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  20. Sorry to hear you are hurting. Hope things work out for you soon. :)

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  21. Anyone who can make tough decisions and do what they feel is right and best for them, regardless of what others might say is an Ace in my book :) Keep it up and may the Lord bless you!

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  22. As everyone has said, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this Leslie. I will be praying for you but I will miss you my friend.

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  23. Hi Leslie, I am new to your site. Found it yesterday. What you wrote resonated in my heart. I, too, am going through a time where God has grabbed my attention by life changing events. I don't have answers...but I do know He is trustworthy. He alone is my hope. His ways hardly ever make sense to me... Praying for you.

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  24. Leslie,

    I sit here after reading that and I have no idea what to write. I feel as though we, along with many other readers, have gone through the same thing. I pray that whatever was or is still troubling your heart will be settled by God. He is in control of every storm!

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  25. Makeovers are messy so the author needs designer. Read to know more

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  26. God has recently shown me that my pride in wanting to hide my weaknesses from others is in fact blocking a blessing for us both. By allowing others to see that I need help or prayer or whatever, allows God to use them to minister to me and that is one of His greatest blessings He bestows on us, the clay, with no worthiness of our own and as undeserving as we are, He gives us opportunity to touch others who are hurting and speak the Word of God to them to show them He cares enough to send a messenger.

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