THE CHRYSALIS (Part 2 of 2) :: My Encounter with Depression

Chrysalis -  noun
(Latin) Chrysallid-,

A protective covering while undergoing metamorphosis: a stage of being or growth.

Metamorphosis - 
(Greek) To transform;

A marked change in appearance, character, condition or function.

Through some kinds words of healing from a friend,
I learned that struggles are normal
how to forgive myself 
and that depression precedes change.

I have an enemy that hates me, but his killing, stealing and destroying has been overcome
by Jesus' love on the cross and victory over the tomb!!

One afternoon, shortly after 
The Great Healing of the Darkness of My Soul began,
our family went to our city's Planetarium/Science Center.

There, in the Butterfly Garden, God spoke to me about my ordeal,
while a crowd of people gathered to watch a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon.

I was so moved by it, I wrote about it.


Watching in amazement,
some gazing with disgust
as that creature
who by her own power
crawls into a place of isolation.

Never knowing she was spinning
threads of pain,
threads of doubt,
threads of unforgiveness.

Around and around she goes
being sure to keep those strands taut, strong.
The only protection for her fragile soul.
The only thing keeping her world still.

Only knowing that darkness and passage of time
hold no relief from it,
And passage of time serves no purpose.
Unaware that she is a victim
of her own chrysalis.

Hanging now,
by a single strand of hope.
All the while, an unseen power transforms her.

Releasing her soul
to become new.
Every broken part
being replaced
with joy
being replaced with love
being replaced with peace.

Where she thought was a hiding place
had become her healing place.

So, now,
unaware of the audience fascinated by her ordeal,
she ever so quietly,
wrestles herself from her self-made cocoon.

Not knowing why she is born this way.

Seeing the light, she is blinded by its intensity,
yet captivated
by the wonders awaiting her.

And she is coaxed by one within the crowd,
by One whose cocoon is long empty
to emerge from her pain,
release her past
and embrace the Sun.

As she unfurls her wings for flight,
she instinctively knows
her destination
and effortlessly glides on winds unseen,
toward the Garden,
as the crowd looks on.

~LeslieAnn 2001

All these gorgeous photos of butterflies were taken by my friend, 

I am honored that she would let me share them with you!

Her photographs captured my eyes and heart! 
She sees things in her lens of life that leave me speechless.
If you love photography, you will love her blog!


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  1. Beautiful, Leslie.
    Thank you for sharing your story and your heart.

  2. Wow, Leslie, I am so moved, that is written so beautifully. Really, amazing. I’m so glad you found your way out of your cocoon, as I’m sure your family is. You have so much to give, and clearly have a spirit as beautiful as the butterflies.
    And, well, I’m just honored that you used my photos in your post, along with your beautiful words.
    big hugs ♥ maureen

  3. Thank you for sharing your story with us Leslie. Your words are beautifully written. I'm so glad you found your way out of the darkness and into the light. Maureen's pictures are a wonderful addition to your post. The girl is talented!
    {hugs to you}

  4. Thank you so much for sharing from such a deep and private part of you, you will help so many of us by doing so. The pictures are beautiful and could certainly stand on their own but ah, your words add even more depth, beauty and understanding. Always write, it is a big part of who you are and what Spirit asks of you.

  5. Leslie, I am so very moved by your story, your honesty, your over all being. Really, I hope I never suffer from depression. The only bout I know was post pardum, and those were the toughest three months I can ever recall. Depression, is scary and can strike anyone at anytime. My husband sees it all the time in his field of work (Pharmacist) we just never take life for granted in any way shape or form. YOu have such an awesome family and life now, and I am so very happy for you. Beautiful photos!

  6. So wonderful and brave of you to share your story. Blessings to you, friend.

  7. Very touching, Leslie. The photos and your words do go very well together.

  8. Leslie, what beautiful writing. My husband and mother went through that, too. Those photos are wonderful. Looks like you can touch each butterfly.

  9. Leslie, you have such insight into your own soul!! Your beautiful writing says it all!! God Bless you!

  10. YOu are such a special person with so much to share. Thank you for such a heartfelt and moving story. So glad you are the perfect butterfly. Hugs, Marty

  11. I just stumbled here and was so moved by your heartfelt honesty and emotion. I read part one also and whole-heartedly agree with you. You have been in a battle, but the victory has already been won for you. I am glad you have found the healing place.

  12. Oh....Leslie....this made me weep, the feeling in it, the picture you painted with words...what a gift you have with words.

    "Around and around she goes
    being sure to keep those strands taut, strong.
    The only protection for her fragile soul.
    The only thing keeping her world still.
    Only knowing that darkness and passage of time
    hold no relief from it,
    And passage of time serves no purpose.
    Unaware that she is a victim
    of her own chrysalis."


    I am very familiar with depression. In my family (the one I grew up) it was called "the family curse", there are many sufferers. You are very courageous to share! Think of others you touch. Amazing, Leslie. I am glad that you are in a better place today and pray that will forever be the case.

  13. Where she thought was a hiding place
    had become her healing place.

    That's my favorite line.
    This was beautiful, the completion of the story, the poem, AND the photographs. I really love it, Leslie.

  14. Beautifu words;thanks for sharing!

  15. This is so beautiful. I am glad that you received the wisdom to see that this too precedes change. On the other side of such a time is so much growth and beauty. We come out more compassionate, sensitive, patient and kind toward others. We come out looking a little more like Christ and grace pours out of our soul. Pain is most definitely gain.

    Thank you for sharing this and for linking with WOW. So lovely.

  16. Oh, this is wonderful...and I hope you will always be the butterfly going toward brightness always!!!

  17. Hi Leslie; Thank you so much for baring your soul. I can so appreciate what you went through.. in more ways than one. Your willingness to share and the way you have with words is beyond measure. I so admire your heart~ your stand for faith, grace and beauty in a new way. I pray the Lord, Himself continues to use as only He can~ in ways and avenues that you have only dreamed of- therefore you know it has to be Him.

  18. Leslie, thank you for opening up and sharing this part of you so you could help others. What a wonderful analogy between your feelings of depression and the Chrysalis. I have a number of people I will share this post with. Your little one is safe in the arms of Jesus and you will be reunited with him/her someday.

    2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)
    Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

    ~ Abby


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