When Mark came home with a bag of dirt, seeds and starter pots,
this gardening project seemed easy enough.
But then, you see, what had happened was:
Do y'all know the story of what happens when you give a mouse a cookie?
If not, here it is in a nutshell:
A generous boy shares a cookie with a hungry mouse,
which led him to ask for a glass of milk,
for which he'll certainly need a straw,
not to mention a napkin,
and a mirror to check for a milk mustache,
which will only lead to him noticing that he needs a haircut.
It is the beginning of a chain of events
that keeps the boy busy all day long,
and might keep him busy for days to come.
My hubby is the Mouse.
The bag of dirt, seeds and starter pots is the cookie.
Here's our version of the story, called:
If You Give a Man Some Seeds
If you give a man some seeds, he will wish to plant and water them.
When the plants have begun to grow,
the man will want to make a plan on where to put them.
He will want to make sure they all play nicely together,
and make lots of friends so he plans the neighborhood.
Then he will want to build the neighborhood.
Which means a trip to Lowe's--one of the Man's favorite stores (okay, mine, too).
While in the Lowe's, the Man finds the lumber
and has it cut by another Man in a red vest.
Well, the lumber must match the deck, so the Man
goes to the Paint counter and buys stain to color the lumber.
The Man has to get the stain onto the lumber somehow,
so he also gets 2 new, shiny brushes.
The lumber must stay together somehow,
so he goes to the Screw Dept. and finds the screws he needs.
Then, the Man remembers he has no proper sawhorses
on which to place the lumber while staining it, and puts those on his cart.
Next, the man remembers that he has no way to store the sawhorses
to keep them neat and tidy, so he puts a
Gladiator Garage track and some hooks on the cart.
A $30 bag turns into a $240 cart:
Then, the Man takes all this stuff home,
and using his handy dandy new sawhorses and shiny, new brushes
stains the outside of the lumber.
Then the Man builds the neighborhoods for the plants.
(This is 2 of 3 of them).
and then he:
Then the Man takes another trip to Lowe's,
remember this is one of his favorite stores?
And makes three trips with 30 bags of Organic Soil each time.
Breaking our Home Owner's Association rules
about driving on the lawn,
he drives the car around to the beds.
(Okay, I told him it was okay to break the rules--
I am the Chairwoman of the Architectural Committee,
and we can break the rules if we don't get caught).
Then the Man, spreads out all the dirt for only one of the beds today:
The plants wait to move in, because the Man is too tired to
plant them today.
They do get planted, don't worry, but that is another book, entirely.